"I'm not where I thought I'd be"

Saturday night, I had dinner with my very best friend, maid of honor, and fellow recent grad, Pearl. We caught up on how each of our relationships was going, she asked me about wedding plans, I told her about booking my first catering gig (it's this monday; can't wait to share more about it with you guys next week!),  then somehow we started on the subject of expectations and dreams we had/ have for ourselves. In essence, we talked about how things have changed since graduation (a short, yet long 6 months ago).

When we graduated, we saw the world as our oyster (a somewhat naive thought, we realize now, considering our current economy and job market)! Why wouldn't our ideal careers be ready to swoop in and hire two ambitious young women such as ourselves? Well... suffice it to say, the ideal positions were not given to us. She works in a job she didn't envision for herself and I am working at Chipotle, a restaurant I love, but a job that I could have easily done in high school. When we were in College, and even fresh out, we had such high expectations for what life post college was supposed to be like, and now here we are sitting, reality check in hand, and Pearl looks at me, vulnerably and with humility, and says this,

"I don't want to be like so many people our age who aren't happy with where they're at but act like they're totally fine. I just want to be honest and say: I'm not where I thought I'd be. Maybe then I'll actually take steps to change things and not be here 3 years from now."

 

I felt so free the moment I heard myself say in response, "I'm not where I thought I'd be either."

 

While it's true that this realization can be discouraging, I have also found that God has taken me far better places than I ever dreamed up for myself, even if they look less luxurious. In high school, I thought I would go to a Big 10 school, graduate with a degree in Journalism, move to New York and work for a big fashion magazine. I would have never imagined myself graduating with a degree in youth ministry, getting ready to be married young to the love of my life, and having close friends from California & Michigan that fill my life tremendously (regardless of distance). Also, due to not having a full time job in my field, being able to start this catering business and blog, something that i'm passionate about and brings me so much joy! I had felt that not having a full time position had been putting boundaries in my life, but in reality those boundaries beautifully set me free to be more open to the places God could be leading me; places that he wants me to trust him enough to go!

 

At that table, a sacred moment happened. One filled with vulnerability and humility, encouragement and freedom. So I want to encourage you if you feel the same way: You may not be where you thought you'd be, but maybe it's because you have been too caught up in expectations (your own or the world's) to really stop and see the opportunities that God might present to you when your life plan has derailed and all you have left is to trust him. I understand that for some of you, you may not believe in the God I love and follow; this moment might still apply to you, and maybe your next step is to stop and pursue a goal you left behind thinking it didn't align with the "perfect plan" you had. Whoever you are, I encourage you (and myself) to not look back in regret, but to look forward, one step at a time, to the places we could go if we free ourselves from the boundaries of expectations we so often tangle ourselves in.

 

Two Scripture verses come to mind:

Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

Isaiah 55:9 - "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Here is a song for your listening enjoyment and encouragement : )